Don’t you just feckin’ wish someone would have sat you down in your teens and said, without a doubt, these things are true! Our mothers tried their best but if there was only some sort of magical fairy or magic being that could have appeared and said “listen to me …….don’t be a eejit and waste all your precious time”. It would be wonderful wouldn’t it? I mean, it would have taken a magic fairy or a celebrity or a super hot guy to get your teen self to take heed of the what was being said anyway.
I’m still looking for Mr right or should I say I am still doing my own thing and when he comes along he comes along, no more “seeking” or filling my head with crap like I used to do. So without delay here are 15 truths I wish my 14 year old self knew
1.You get what you are willing to accept
If you were to take a pen and paper right now…..which I plan on doing and sharing it with you at some point 🙂 and write down what you would desire in your future boyfriend/girlfriend Husband/Wife, write down everything from what their hobbies and interests would be, Your preferred hair colour your preferred body type. Yes looks are not everything but if you were to just describe your ideal mate what would it be? Be realistic too I mean don’t just write “Super, mega, rich doctor with abs of steal” instead write things like “loves animals” “enjoys discussing books” “loves to dance” “They are empathetic, passionate” ect ect. Whatever you wish! Now ask yourself ……how do you end up in relationships with somebody who doesn’t match that description in ANY way???? When do we just think “Ah sure, that’ll do me” Sure isn’t he nice or she nice.
It’s the same with letting someone treat you badly. If a man or woman treats you as less than you deserve and you let it stay that way well, then that’s what you’re going to have. Demand respect, honesty and dedication within your relationship. You might end up going through quite a few relationships in the process of elimination but that’s actually supposed to be part of it. There are wonderful guys and girls out there you just have to be patient and be ready to say goodbye if they are not the right ones.
2.Your appearance is not everything
This goes for you and the person you are dating. Ever hear the famous phrase “Beauty fades dumb is forever” well “Gorgeous Abs fade and the asshole personality is forever” or “your beauty fades but your stupid choice of life partner could be forever”. When you are a teenager especially there is so much emphasis on looks and even if you were the dowdy, ugly duckling in school who became a beautiful swan I’m sure you too, built up an association between appearance and self-worth.
The truth however, is that your worth has nothing to do with this. Your worth comes from everything else about you. you own your worth, it just is. You do not need to prove it to anyone. When you and your love get old you will both get old and your body is just a vessel for whats inside and that’s the part that needs to shine out to attract someone. When you know you both love and want each other regardless of appearance you’ve struck gold.
3.You deserve to be loved
No it’s not because you have the latest in season outfit or because you got your highlights done for summer no, it’s just because you are, you exist and you deserve love. Just absorb that message. It’s nice to know isn’t it or do you know it? Look in the mirror right now and Say YOU deserve love just because.
I want you to get so much love you sink into it like warm, squidgy chocolate sauce, it surrounds you in sweetness and sinks into your pores and into your heart….yes my descriptions can be odd.
4. If you know he was wrong why get upset?
Yes you were with the wrong person again, yes it hurts, but if you are going to cry, cry for you, not for a longing to be back with him, not because he ended it, not because you think you still have feelings for him. Look at the facts, Write it down! can you think of all the reasons he’s not right for you?? Well then bye felicia! Don’t waste another second over that mudda fudger! I’m sorry he cheated on you but you wish you were still together??? ARE YOU CRAZY??? No girl! just no!
5.Trust your instincts
Most of the time you were probably right. If you sense he’s cheating, if you sense he is just not the one for you, if you sense something isn’t right or like a break up is coming it probably is…..not always but most of the time your gut is right. Talk about it get it out when you first notice it otherwise things will go on and it will rear it’s ugly head in time.
6. There are plenty more sharks…. and dolphins in the sea
You may feel like your world is over. You may think you will never love again. That was it. If he wasn’t the one, there is no other. Well… actually you will meet other people you are interested in and they will most likely be far better than before.
You may feel anger right now. You may want to beat him over the head with a sod of turf if you ever see him again. You may have imagined stabbing all four of his tires with a steak knife but you will live again. You will love again and maybe even find your true love, the one you can grow old and crispy with.
7. It’s Okay to be Alone!!
In fact it’s actually a really good thing to be alone for a while. However we are conditioned to think we need to jump into relationships as soon as we become “old enough” to be interested. We actually rarely put as much effort into getting to know ourselves and getting to know what we want as we do into desperately trying to find someone to be in a relationship with.
Embrace the years you have on your own as a time to improve friendships and figure out what your all about.
8. You might never ever EVER know!
Ah the mysteries of life. I’m sorry it’s true. Maybe he likes someone else, maybe he doesn’t like something about you maybe he’s not ready for a relationship, maybe he wants different things, Maybe……. maybe he is a total buttbag! and doesnt deserve you anyway.
Either way it’s over. It’s gone. Move on.
9. He’s just not that into you and that’s OKAY!!
It does not mean you are a hideous monster. If he is not calling or texting you anymore just find a way to say aw well there is nothing I can do about that. You are not everyone’s “type” and that is okay. There is no point in feeling heartbroken about it.
10. Don’t play mind games
Do not hold your feelings inside. He probably doesn’t have a clue why you are angry or sulking just explain what the heck is going on in your head. If you get it all out in the open and he won’t listen or compromise or care what you have to say well then that’s another way to see you are with the wrong person. Honesty and communication are essential in a relationship.
11. Love is not what you may think
You may be crazy about each other you can’t stop thinking about them you want to kiss them and be with them every second. you get excited when the phone goes off because it could be them. Well I’m sorry to break it to you but Real love is far deeper it is a soul connection. It’s a deep regard for someones well-being . It’s a longing to put their needs ahead of your own a longing to just exist together. It’s unconditional its true and committed. It’s hard to describe as I have not found it yet with a man.
12. When you find him respect him
Show him every day how much you appreciate him. Encourage him and tell him how wonderful he is. Never cut him down or criticise him especially in front of his friends. Treat him as you would like to be treated 🙂 make him feel special, make him feel like your superman. Let him know how happy he makes you.
13. Love you
Love who you are, otherwise how can you love someone else? If you are not comfortable with yourself and you can’t accept and understand your flaws, how can you truly be open and loving with someone else? Accept yourself, flaws and all and learn to understand what you need to work on. Become ready for your next relationship. It’s okay to love yourself even though it sounds like pure cheese, I love my cheesiness! 🙂
14. Love is Everywhere
love is not confined to just your relationship with a man or woman. Love exists around you everyday. Love of your family. Love of your friends, your pets. you can start each day with love in your heart, give it to others, show it in the actions you do each day. Dam, Im piling those easy single cheese slices up high with this one aren’t I?
I hope that these will help someone possibly someone starting or caught in the middle of their dating journey. Be a strong confident woman…. or gentleman… and the right person for you will come along someday. They will see your awesomeness and you will see their amazingness and together you can be a magical ball of love power! YAY!
Comment below with your truths!