Life, Mindfulness

Finding your Authentic Self

Sometimes in life you can feel like…..you are a bag of kinetic modelling sand. You spend your time changing your shape to please others around you.

Sometimes, we are even okay with other people shaping us and controlling our direction. We let them drop our “sand self” or “clay self” on the floor so bits of crap and carpet gets stuck to us, we let them lose parts of us….we let them mix our colours up until we look completely different.

I get it, we all let this happen. You want to fit in with a group, to be successful, to find acceptance, to prove yourself.

When you spend so much time wondering what others think and if they approve of who you are or what you are doing, you can desperately scramble to tick all the boxes for everyone or to find a “safe” version of yourself to express to the world. While you do this you can lose who you really are. You can lose what makes you special and unique.

The authentic self is the soul made visable

Squeezing yourself into a particular box often leaves you feeling lost, like you are an eagle trying to swim with a school of fish…..that would just not work for very long would it? Eventually those fish will notice there is something odd about you anyway 😛

Wouldn’t the eagle look and feel better if it showed off it’s wings and flew? ………It could probably snatch up some of those fish for dinner too if it embraced it’s true self and leave those fish feeling a little more respectful??

We want human connection. We want to be liked. so we spend our time trying to please everyone, to have something in common with all who we come in contact with. I am guilty of this too, it’s human nature but that doesn’t mean we can’t change this.

Going back to that thought of the eagle…….it never questions its existence, its role or compares itself with other animals, it does not question if it can fly as high as other eagles it just leaps, full faith in its abilities, from the branch and soars, it just lives the way it knows is in its nature. It’s beautiful and powerful nature. I’m aware an eagle does not have as complex thought as a human being would but that does not mean we can’t learn something from this analogy.

So… in the words of Nelly…….Drop down and get your eagle on Gurrrl!

To be your authentic self you must let go of the fear of judgement, -lovefromcara.com

We go from one extreme to the other… if we are not camouflaging ourselves with the rest of the sheep we are dying our hair purple and piercing every inch of our skin to stand out! We are attaching flashing beacons to our bodies and yelling “here I am world!” as we run down the road naked!

This ain’t good either….. you may feel for a while that you are being SO different that this must be your true self…..but no…. sadly that wont bring you real happiness either.

 

It is truly exhausting to pretend to be something you are not. It is unfulfilling. It eventually become a fake world with fake friends and fake moments which is just…….depressing to say the least.

This pressure is placed on us from an early age. In school we want to be picked for games and get high grades and we end up feeling ashamed and like the odd one out if this does not happen for us. The negativity we encounter as children from other children and teachers can reinforce this fear and this desperation to not be seen as “different” but that would be like fighting our DNA throughout our lives as we ARE all different in certain ways and that is okay 🙂

You can’t force fire to be water. Fire can only be fire. When you force water upon fire…. what happens to the flames? – Cara (LovefromCara.com)

When we start to release our true selves something amazing happens…. a change in our energies. We light up. People start to become drawn to this freedom within you. Yes you may not be liked by everyone but that is the case whether you play a part or show your authentic self anyway. Why would you want people who are not real friends or nice people around you anyway?

When you relax into the real you people start to notice you for the right reasons. It’s like you have nothing tying you down or holding you back. You laugh when you feel like laughing you smile when you feel like smiling. You do things that make you happy and spend time with people who encourage your true self. Like a weight is lifted. You become the energy you want to attract.

When you deny your authentic self you starve your soul. Especially if you allow others to do it to you. You become irritable, sad, stressed, feel like you don’t belong or like you are all alone and can even become depressed.

When you surround yourself with other genuine people with positive energies or even if you are lucky enough to find that one special person who embraces, loves and encourages or even helps with guiding you to who you are you will feel better.

As humans we can have a lot of poisonous thoughts and these can lead us further from the true self, whether that reflects with your work, your friends or your relationship choices. As hard as it may seem initially, sometimes we have to throw away that canvas and start painting fresh.

Journey to find YOUR dreams and your values again. What are your beliefs? Embrace your authentic self, dance your dance, paint your paint, craft your craft and feel your own song bursting forth from your lungs.

We all need to follow our heart and trust our wings a little more.

It takes courage to be yourself in a world that is so swept up in being fake and comparing everyone with everyone else.  Embrace your magic and never apologise for the fire within you – Cara (LovefromCara.com)

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