Love Life

What to do After a break up

I could go two ways with this, because breakups are messy! So I’m not going to fill your head with “BS” and say you must feel upset or YOU SHOULD feel upset. You’re in control of your feelings and there are many different reasons for breakups.

I mean if you were the person who broke up with someone, the thing you might want to do afterwards is…….CELEBRATE!! you might want to grab some friends head out and party your ass off! It’s not a crime.

Someone who has never been in a situation where they felt relief or liberated after a break up will probably think that sounds crazy but if you were stuck in a shitty relationship where you were disrespected or abused in some way, then yes, you should mourn but you should celebrate your courage to leave too if you feel you need it!

Then there are the sad situations where you were the one who was broken up with OR you had to break up with someone who you thought you truly loved but you feel things are different now. Then there are the mutual feeling relationships where you could have been together a long time and although you “have love” for each other it just doesn’t feel like your “in love” anymore. Oh so many melancholy scenarios in break up land.

Since break ups are messy these suggestions may not apply to everyone but they might help you see a light at the end of the tunnel or help you refocus your mind.

 

1.Celebrate! if you feel it’s right! 

As I stated above sometimes you have broken free of a bad situation so although it will certainly take some time there is no harm in feeling a little happiness at your decision. Breakups don’t have to make you feel had 24/7 so celebrate your freedom! Dance Sing! Be Free!! Celebrate who you are as an individual.

2. Friends Forever

You can turn to friends for support during this difficult time. They may be able to offer advice or be there to listen to you go on and on and on for hours about your relationship. It’s worthwhile noting that friends sometimes tend to take a back seat when someone if in a relationship so be sure to be prepared to give what you receive and be there to listen to them too. Be sure to keep your friendships strong even in a relationship because your friends will love you even when your boyfriend or girlfriend is gone.

3. Hobbies and other fun stuff

You have lots of free time now. No! No! stop crying! That is not a bad thing! Listen, put down the chocolate! Yes I know you will miss the cuddles and movie time together but now you can use that time to get back doing things you really enjoy! Or you could even try something new like surfing, kayaking, painting, running…….. stamp collecting (Hahahahaha ahem sorry!) but yes you can do whatever you please.

Yes you could have lost your best friend, your love. This could be extremely difficult for you but you could use this time wisely you can make a list of all the new things you want to try this year, the new places you want to go. Pull yourself out of the rut and do something you love! Try to stay away from harmful past times like you may want to go on a night out but try not to let alcohol or any other substance become your crutch through a hard time. Take care of your body and take steps to enhance your knowledge and skills.

4. Every place reminds you of them!

So the apartment/house/car you’re in reminds you of them. You have been to every restaurant together and every bar. You have done those activities together and you have kissed on every street. Held hands in that park. Laughed under that tree. Frolicked in that field….and now you want to move country and change your name. Hold your horses! Cancel that plane ticket. You are strong and you can fix this. Make new memories in those places. Those times, as lovely as they were, are in the past and now. Look at those places as a new beginning where you can go with friends and future dates and have faith that soon the new memories will become dominant over the old ones.

5. Give yourself space

No one around you may understand the depths of your relationship. You may feel fine one minute and sad the next. That’s okay. Let it out. If you want to cry, get mad, curl up for a day and eat a tub of ice cream while you watch romantic movies do it! You need to vent do not bottle up your emotion because it will not help.

You could feel like you lost the love of your life you could have thought this was the one you would be with forever. You were with eachother every day and now there is a feeling of terrible loss. That’s okay and you can release your emotions. Take your time no one is rushing you to get over it.

6. Get some cuddles

You may not be “a cuddly person” but the majority of humans need some sort of human touch. It is therapy in itself and it is proven that being deprived of human touch can negatively affect your mental and physical well-being. Get a hug off a family member, hold hands with a friend. Get a massage. These things will help you get through this difficult time. Especially if you were used to having this person to hug every day and now they are suddenly not there it can leave you with a rather empty feeling. Be near your family and friend and if you need a hug just ask for one. They won’t think your a big weirdo they will think you are human like them.

7. Laugh

You may not feel like it not but when you laugh you start to feel better it relieves stress and can help you focus on the positives and the funnier side of life. Watch some comedies and hang out with friends that have a positive outlook and want to see you smile and laugh again. Even if you believe it or not the pain will become easier to manage and this will all be in the past someday. It kind of already is.

There is no set way to get over a break up. Everyone has their own way of coping. There are also a lot of things you shouldn’t do after a break up. Try not to fill your heart with anger, jealousy or hate these will prevent you from moving forward. Trying to hurt the person who broke up with you in some way will probably come back to hurt you too. So although you may have contemplated publicly humiliating them or setting their things on fire you should try and find a way to let go of that anger and focus on improving yourself instead. If you get out there and do things that make you happy and you start meeting new people you will find love again and who knows next time it could be the real thing!

Funny video for you!

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